I'm 23. I am not on the brink of old age, in fact I'm just two years past the drinking age and two years near the age that I can rent a car. People keep telling me that it's societies fault that I feel like I need to get married. I say that it's just me. Society schmoscmiety. I want to get married. I want to meet the man of my dreams, and settle down. I have a dream of marrying a man that will not only be there for me through the fat and the skinny BUT I dream that he will be my best friend. I want my relationship with my husband to be the exact yearning I long for in Christ, except my husband will long for that just as much. My relationship with God is number one. I want to know that I will have accountability in my husband. I want to experience Christ-centered love in my relationship, is that too much to ask? I don't think so at all because I've seen it.
Here is where things get crazy.
I want these things now. I'm praying for patience and asking for it everyday. Maybe that's my downfall. Instead of working on growing with the Lord, I'm asking Him for patience in my life--my job, my relationships, where I live, and everything else. I have been focusing so much on patience that I am not giving God any space to work in my life. GO FIGURE! I had a revelation this past week. The revelation is, that I need to depend totally on God before I can expect any man to come into my life. I want to have so much dependance on God that when my future husband comes along, I'll be ready. I won't need to depend SO much on Him and that will give us the strength to have a Christ-centered relationship because we won't need to depend on each other as much, but both be dependant on God. deeeeeeeep breath and ouuuuut... Sometimes writing is a confusing task, because I have all of these things I'm thinking and it's going 1000 times a minute in my head...so what comes out on paper, isn't usually exactly what I want. BUT that's ok. I'm just glad that I got something out of this... He never shows us the whole tapestry, but sometimes we get a small glimpse. I can be so naive and selfish sometimes...it's upsetting lol.
until next time. peace.
