boomerang

There is a termanology to explain the constant need to go back to one specific person...heard it from a high schooler...they call it a boomerang. Once you get so comfortable with someone, and have been through a number of certain events and situations with that person its almost impossible to go back. I have seen so many relationships that have gone sour after a very long time and it's very sad. But I also must say that I have seen many people who have suffered with heartache for so long, get back on their feet. I myself have suffered, but have come out of it. Now, I am at a point where I need to detach myself. I read something today that made me sick to my stomach. A self-realization with the help of a kind man named Terelle that I am in fact, co-dependant. What do you do with yourself when you realize that you are co-dependant? I read a line, it said "In fear of rejection, I am careful with what I say and do"...this along with a number of other things that say I am co-dependant. I wish I could say that I wasn't completely attached to this person. I know that I have feelings for him, but it's almost like I have feelings totally based on comfort...and the fact that I do know we have a very long past. I don't want to restart a relationship with someone, I dont want to give my heart to anyone else...I have already been put through so much. I don't want to have to re-get to know someone. I'm afraid, I don't like when I feel sad...I'm a very happy person. God has continuously brought me through my pain and my suffering. I know for a fact that I will get through this too...I need to have faith that he will bring me through this. The change I have gone through in the past 4 years in immeasurable. I have been changed...yet not all circumstances have been completely changed, I know that God has changed me for a reason and that this relationship was brought back to me for a reason....This may be the last time I go through this with this certain someone. Whether it be a good or a bad. One day at a time...