good news!

Ok. My life has consisted of A LOT of crap. But there is some good news that goes with this crap, and that's God's grace and mercy. This year, has been the toughest year of my life. I have lived an unclean life, and I chose to walk in the way of sin. I'm in a book/bible study right now and we are reading a book called "triumph over suffering". I am the youngest, most single woman in the class. I only say that because, well it's not at all important. The women in this group though, because they are older and have dealt with a lot in their lives...they can relate to me. Not only can I speak about my suffering, but they actually listen and I don't feel like I'm being blown off for talking so much. God works amazingly. I've learned that God is a sovereign God and He allows suffering in our lives for a darn good reason--to further His Kingdom. I've never had a time in my life that stunk that didn't lead to something amazing. I'm a high school leader in the youth group at my church and I love every single one of those girls. It's funny that they call me a leader when I have learned more from them, than I have in a while. I went to a camp called Teen Valley Ranch in Plumtree, NC last week. While I was there, I realized that my life doesn't have to be complicating. To me not following God is harder than anything. When I'm trying to do things on my own, and becoming a chameleon to the ways of this world...that's when I'm in pain. I'm learning that I don't need to go out and have a ridiculous social life to have a fulfilling life, to feel like i'm being accepted. I've learned that i'd rather be accepted in the world of my God. Yes, I have made some god awful mistakes that will surely haunt me for a while, but I know that I have been forgiven...and I know that I don't need to live in this suffering anymore. Everyone has suffering, it's just a matter of whether we choose to let it rule us or let God rule over us. I've decided that I want to be in full time minstry with youth. I want to take the next step in my walk, in my journey. I plan to start grad classes online with my alumni, Anderson University this fall. This journey has just begun...it is FAR from over.

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." -John F. Kennedy