you.

I've gone months without seeing or speaking to you. But I just realized that when you leave, I'm not going to know what to do. In and out of my life for 4 years, but never out of my mind. For 8 months, I went without you being around. All of the sudden you are back, and to think that I am going to lose you again...and maybe forever...makes me sick. I'm way too comfortable here, but I feel okay with it this time. Why did you come back? If you would have just left me be, I wouldn't miss you when you left me for good this time. Am I once again giving myself false hope? I don't know what I'm doing. Last semester I knew what was going on, I had a hold onto what it was I "wanted" even though I still wasn't sure. But at least I wasn't emotionally or physically attached to anyone. I just don't understand why....



Please, don't. Don't look at me with those eyes, that smile. i hate it when you do that because it gives me such great hope. i just want things to stay the way they are, you can just stay away. i'm better off without your smile and your laugh. i'm better off without you (but am I really?). false hope brings me nothing but false smiles. i can't stand to see that look on your face, and the way you look at me with such "meaning." when i know really, it means absolutely nothing. oh, i've gone through this before and i won't let all i have worked for be completely demolished because you give me that one look. please, don't do this to me. please, don't.