My heart is at a all time breaking point. I watched invisible children last night for the second time in a few years. All I can think about is the little boy, Jacob, sobbing because he lost his older brother to the LRA. I keep thinking to myself--how many times have I been crying over something that was "detrimental" to me. Watching that small boy cry because he's afraid that he may get abducted and killed; fearing for his life almost 24/7. Makes me fall to my knees, heartbroken. There's nothing I can do besides, pray and have faith. My problems feel so insignificant compared to Jacob's. That is his life, constantly living in fear, wondering when he will get his next meal, and all the other stuff living in a 3rd world country comes with. Most things are expendable to me, 9 out of 10 times I have the things I want...and I eat like nobody's business. You think as a country that owns 15% of the wealth would do something. Maybe even try harder to end the war in Africa. I know it's been years since that movie was released but it's STILL going on...it's now officially been 24 years. We as Americans have more freedom than any other country in the world and we can't even get involved in that war because they haven't done anything to us. We don't want to get involved because it's not in our hands. But we can go over to the middle east thinking we are going to create democracy? I don't see how any of this makes sense... I am so broken. Not because anything bad is happening to me but because I am just one person who wants to create peace within billions of people. I pray that this world opens their eyes--whether or not they believe--but opens their eyes to peace. This world does not have to be this way. God never intended for this to happen. We are all human beings but we have free will and we can change the way we treat people, and the way we handle situations. The situations going on in my life are petty. I feel ashamed for worrying. I trust that God is going to take care of me--I want to trust even more that God will provide more and more peace to developing countries. I am so blessed, so why do I worry about the things I don't have. I know that I am always going to be taken care of. I am broken for them, my eyes see the hurt that is going on around me. People are lost all over, and I'm worried about me? I hear that cry of Jacob, and my heart just breaks a little more. I just want healing in the world. I just want to see love. I know that because of the fall of man, the world is going to be a bad place...but I believe that we can change it...I believe that it doesn't have to be this way. I hate excuses, I hate that we blame the fall of man. We still have FREE-WILL! We still have the power to stop these things. Especially when we have the resources. I'm done for now.
I exist because you exist.
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