30 hour famine--on my mind

For 30 hours on May 7th-8th I will be fasting. The idea of the fasting is to get a very small feel as to what it is like to go hungry--but MOST IMPORTANTLY, raise money to feed hungry children. The idea of the 30 hour famine is to take 30 measily hours away from eating (something we do TOO much of) and raise money so that someone who never eats can be fed. The 30 hour famine is a international youth movement to fight hunger. Not only will it feed hungry children, but it will bring my group of youth and the numerous leaders together as a close community. The greatest thing I have learned about people who are in the same situation together...tend to act out as more of a community. "I exist because you exist"...we survive together, without community we wouldn't survive.

Today 25,000 kids will die due to hunger related causes...that's one child every 3 seconds :(

The goal is to get 12 sponsors to give me $30.00 or more--with that $360.00, we can feed a child for a whole year! I'd like my goal to be double ($720), but I think I'll start at $360. This isn't some event that i'm attending just to say I attended. I do hold this close to my heart because I do believe we can change lives. Last year in the U.S. alone, groups raised around $12 million--which is enough to feed 30,000 children for a whole year. I hope that not only you pray for this event to be successful--you think about even sponsoring. This is HUGE! :)

just a little food for thought...

"love your neighbor" -Jesus

job

I applied for a job at Palm Beach Atlantic University as a Resident Director. I am praying that it is in God's will for me. I want this to be powered by prayer--so I need all the prayer I can get for this. I think this job would be a perfect transitioner for my life, not only that but it will be something I've been wanting to do for a while. I'm studying counseling, and what would be more perfect than developing relationships with a boatload of college students. I'm not going to say anything else about it besides just pray. Like I said, I want this to be solely a God thing...I don't want this because of my selfish desires...I want it if God wants me to have it. If it's not in His will then it won't happen. I don't want to be taken over by evil thoughts; God is in control. I trust in Him fully.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

apparently

this was going to be a blog about my heartache, and after I wrote it all..decided it wasn't worth publishing. I'm tired of depressing heartache blogs. God, I need You and that is all I can really say. I won't go to this blog...I'll just ask You.


I am hungry. I am thirsty. For more of You. I need BEAUTIFUL you.

A gift

Wondering where my life is heading
Questioning my worth again
Struggling to find where I belong
Filling the voids with relationships that aren't worth it
Is there a place for someone like me?

I keep trying to control situations
Not trusting in the one that knows my plan
Embarrased by some bad decisions
Is there a place for someone like me?

You give me chance after chance
constantly taking my hand
landing me on my feet
Deja vu; here I am again...
Fighting against your existance
Will this never end?

Is this what my life consists of?
A huge debate...
Why can't we just be still?
One day I give you my all,
next day just can't seem to catch my fall

Are we living hypocritically?
I think it's a little thing called humanity

He saw it coming, so He sent a man-
to be put to his death
Leading us to our salvation
Bringing us out of our condemnation

Now there's always a place for someone like me.

letting go of bitterness and unforgiveness

I'm slowly learning that there's a long process you need to go through to fully free of bitterness and unforgiveness. I have been trapped with this bitterness for most of my life. Toward friends that have hurt me in the worst ways, through relationships with boys that went sour, and through situations that have happened within my family. I have a relationship with the Lord, I know I am imperfect and I know that most people would probably say, "you're not a good Christian." You know what I say to that, I don't agree at all. I have tried my best for the better part of my life to give everything I am to love people and give my heart to making sure that all my relationships with people are tight. I also know that I have failed NUMEROUS times. I have realized that I am filled with nothing but bitterness and unforgiveness, and it is making my attitude seem different toward people (people that mean something to me). I want to be free of this bitterness; especially since a recent incedent with a boy that I had forgiven just last year for doing this very same thing to me. For years, I have wallowed in pity and sorrow...hoping that one day things would turn out great. I am tired of living in a lie...I am tired of putting on a face, showing everyone that I'm okay. I am okay, yes, but I am also tied down with bitterness that succombs my life. I can't stress enough how terrible I feel like I have been to my friends for the past year...I feel like a failure most of the time because maybe one thing didn't work out with someone. I mainly feel like it might be my fault for things that happen between my friends and I. I don't feel good about myself most of the time, and I expect rejection out of most of my relationships. I want to be free from this. I know that I can be free. I know that God can free me, but before He can do it...I need to forgive myself and forgive the one's that have hurt me in the past and recently. I have decided that I am going to get a list of people that I feel have hurt me, and I am going to make it a point to pray for them and then pray that I have the strength to forgive them but also forgive myself. I just want to be able to live a happy life without old past regrets and bitterness filled inside of me. I know that I do wrong everyday...and I know that most of the time I know when I'm doing something wrong. So I'm not saying this to be like, everything I've done wrong is because of something someone else did to me. NO, I'm saying that I am hurting and I want to be free from this hurt. That is all, just a word before I'm off to bed. Goodnight moon.

a simple act of love

What do you think human services is?

The question I had in my class today was, "Is human services practical or theoretical?"

Human services is an act. There will always be theories and ideas but what you do with those theories and ideas is what human services is-what you do with the gifts of love is what human services is. Human services is an act of love, help, and community. It's the hug you give a friend after their parents just divorced; it's the act of going out into the streets of Haiti or even your own local community and serving other. There are always going to be individuals with issues and struggles, and there are always going to be many communities of people to serve one another. I am just about on the egde of my seat here just thinking about how important human services is. You don't have to get a master's degree to serve, you don't have to do anything but love. It's not always about figuring things out, its about that small action of love that impacts a persons life to possibly better it. I want to be a counselor/mentor because it is my act of love to people. God has given me a gift of openness and a heart full of love for His people...I am just so excited!

God is so good, all the time.

"We know, dear brothers and sisters, that God loves you and has chosen you to be His own people." 1 Thessalonians 1:4

life as I know it

2010 has arrived; I have officially lived through 2 decades. Since my last post, I have felt so many emotions--I have asked God for peace this year. I know that I cannot control my fate, and I cannot control what happens in my relationships. Yes, things got a little rocky but right now...I feel as if I could float on a cloud. I am so happy....and that's how I will end this. Until next time...God is good.